October 17, 2007
Pop Rocks
Pimp My Pumpkin
We all know Halloween rules the school as far as holidays go. But it still irks the heck out of Pop Rocks to see smashed pumpkin remains splattered all over streets and sidewalks thanks to punk Philly kids who can’t find more creative ways to express their suburban rage. Besides contributing to Billy Corgan’s gargantuan ego, these graven image-desecrating tin-pot talibanistas destroy some seriously badass pagan artwork.
It’s time to put an end to this black-and-white-on-orange violence, and the folks at Philly-based Running Press have just struck gold with their Pimp My Pumpkin kit. Complete with a fedora, feather boa and some shiny bling, this pumpkin-accessorizing kit is perfect for warding off would-be vandals.
Would you think twice about messing with a Jacked-Up O’Lantern? Damn right you would. And so will they. So carve with wild abandon. Just don’t front on the finishing touches. Before you know it, your stoop will be crowded with pros and hos just trying to get it on with your motherfreaking pimpkin. (Joshua Valocchi)
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