DigPhillyDecember 28, 2007
You may as well skip New Year's Eve all together because the good stuff is happening in the next three nights: Gospel, dirty roasts and "special" BBQs.
Although the nannies over here at digphilly HQ are completely freaking out at the mere prospect of our peeps navigating the daunting Philly scene in virtual blindness while your beloved Digger was off galavanting amongst the relatives, I’m granting the benefit of the doubt and guessing that y’all fared just fine in my absence.
Nonetheless, it’s high time to get back into the swing of things, yeah?
Right.
Let’s do this.
Friday
The Word
Fri., Dec. 28, 8:30 p.m. $25-27. With Chocolate Genius.
Electric Factory. 421 N. 7th St. 215.627.1332.
For the folks who are still wallowing in Christian-bred guilt after showering loved ones with gifts instead of sincere blessings to commemorate the admittedly arbitrary anniversary of J.C.’s birth (this pretty much covers most of our Catholic readers, methinks), The Word anoints the stage at the Electric Factory tonight.
Draping a touch of blues, a dash of jazz and a slew of soul over some downright inspired gospel music, The Word is just what the preacher ordered. Presiding over the keys, John Medeski is sure to get the congregation groovin’ just in time for Robert Randolph to testify on the pedal steel guitar. The North Mississippi Allstars earn plenary indulgences all around with their musical tithings as the whole damn thing comes full circle, bringing all of us a little closer to the almighty.
Religious allusions aside, if you haven’t seen these guys, you’re really missing out. This lineup is simply unstoppable and they seriously put on one of the best shows this side of the Mississippi Delta. That said, I challenge any band to cross the Delta and mess with these guys. They’re the real deal and this gig is a rare Philly appearance. Don’t lunch on this. And while we’re postulating here, we might as well implore you to get there early. Chocolate Genius is simply sublime live. Give him the credit he's due, Philly. He’ll love you for it forever.
Saturday
Dirty D Birthday Roast
Sat., Dec. 30, 9:30 p.m. Free.
Khyber. 56 S. 2nd St. 215.238.5888.
If you can find a better way to spend your pre-New Year’s Eve Saturday night that doesn’t involve filthy renditions of Neil Diamond songs, we need to hear about it. Even so, we’re seriously doubting that free vibrators are in the mix. Once you realize the impracticality of even entertaining such a challenge, just tote your ass over to the Khyber for the Dirty Diamond Roast.
Yes, we’ve all seen the roast go down in some form or fashion on Comedy Central over the past few years. The Hugh Hefner edition wasn’t nearly as raunchy as it should’ve been but the Flavor Flav jawn made up for it in spades. Regardless, it’s a safe bet that nothing can truly prepare anyone for the debauchery that will surely ensue at the Khyber Saturday night. Don’t worry if you have no idea who Dirty Diamond is. Just strut through the door, demand a free vibrator (it’s your God-given right, after all) and kick back as the likes of Needles Jones, a.d. amorosi and the Legendary WID (all Philly “celebrities” in their own, um, ‘special’ way) stumble their way through scripted jabs and pre-orchestrated bits in a feeble attempt to embarrass a man who sings about hookers and blow on a regular basis.
Needless to say, the real fun begins after the roast, when the man of the hour, Dirty Diamond, takes the stage to regale the crowd with his truly tasteless takes on Neil Diamond classics. According to his relentless MySpace bulletins, the “performance” begins at 11:15 p.m. and goes on “until it’s fucking done.” Did we mention there will be free vibrators?
Sunday
Bob & Barbara's BBQ
Sun., Dec. 30. 8 p.m. Free. $3-6 for a plate of BBQ.
Bob & Barbara’s Lounge. 1509 South St. 215.545.4511.
After Saturday night with Dirty Diamond do you really think you should be going out on Sunday night? Even if you feel like you gained some sort of twisted redemption by spending Friday with The Word’s sweet gospel sounds, you still have New Year’s Eve staring you dead in the eye. That’s Monday night, you know …
Nonetheless, if you absolutely must head out Sunday, keep it cool, local and tasty. Lucky, the sometimes bouncer at Bob and Barbara’s, cooks up some of the most divine soul food you’re likely to find this side of the Mason-Dixon Line. In fact, Lucky’s vittles even house the majority of anything in the dirrrty South, so take that for whatever it’s worth. Will he be cookin’ up mac ‘n’ cheese and ribs and fryin’ fish and chicken the day before the annual amateurs’ showcase that is New Year’s Eve? Probably. He kinda loves his craft. Then again, if he opts not to cook this weekend, don’t call him on it. You’re still in for a fun night at one of the city’s best dives. Order the Special (shot of Beam and a can of PBR - $3) and keep your damn trap shut. Chances are still pretty good that Lucky’s bigger than you. Don’t make him prove it. Just drink your drink and stay cool, killer. If there’s no food this week, you can rest assured it’ll be back next year (that’s next week, you know … ) – with a vengeance.
As for Monday night, you’re on your own, kids. Just be sure you stay safe, have fun and come back here hungry for more in the new year. We’re diggin up the goods for you here and we pledge to keep on bringing it as long as you want it, ya dig?
